#99 – Depressed

It is near the exam season soon and I am depressed. Really. 

I was supposed to meet my boyfriend today. After spending a tiring week in Malaysia (I am always sick when I go back to visit my dad), I finally looked forward to a day where I can spend it relaxing with someone I love. And he was the one who was okay with it! In the end? He had something to attend to and I didn’t get to meet him after all. I think I haven’t meet him for a really long time, since I can’t even remember when was the last time I actually met him. It was THAT long ago. And he is not replying my messages as often. He ends work at 6 plus, and I usually try to leave time after that to whatsapp him since that is the time where the both of us are actually free. BUT! My messages are actually ignored till the next morning. Sometimes for a day. I thought he met problems at work and ask whether he is okay. He told me he was when he totally didn’t sound okay at all. I am mentally,physically and psychologically tired and burnt out. I don’t know whether I can survive this semester at all. I am actually starting to regret the decision of getting back together. I don’t know what he is thinking anymore. I know he is busy with his career and stuff and he needs his private life and all, but I need some reassurance too. I am dying right here, I can’t turn to my family because they turn to me when they have problems instead and my friends might be even more stressed out than I am. I am starting to find life meaningless. Maybe I’ll just drop everything and go be a nun. 

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