It is a very sombre topic, but I felt that I have to touch on it because it is starting to creep onto my friends around me. I was scrolling on my timeline when I chanced upon a few photos. The first one was a congratulatory note to my newly-wed same age friend (I am 18 turning 19) and I thought that she merely got married by impulse. I thought nothing about it.
The second photo was her ROM (Registration of Marriage) ceremony and I saw quite a bump on her tummy. It got my attention and I immediately zoomed in on the photo and after scrutinizing for a few minutes, the verdict that I had was that she is pregnant.
Imagining you at the age of 18, the time where you are supposed to be partying like crazy and having the most fun out of your life, and you are being buoyed down by such heavy burdens like having a child. Giving birth is easy, it is just enduring two hours of pain and you are doing with it. Seeing how my relatives raised up their children, the raising up part after giving birth is the hardest part. Giving birth is purely physical pain. Yes, many may argue that giving birth is where the woman is nearest to the gate of Death. I agree. A woman may die during childbirth or the complications of giving birth, but given today’s technology and medical advances, unless you are living in a rural area with horrible medical services, I believe the chances of dying due to childbirth is pretty low.
Raising a kid means having to constantly worry about him/her. There is a quote that is raging through Facebook, “Worrying doesn’t take away tomorrow’s problems. It takes away today’s peace.” Having a kid means having no peace for the rest of your life. When your child is a baby, you have to worry whether he/she falls sick, whether he/she is hungry, whether he/she is near anything dangerous. When he/she is in his/her toddler years, you have to teach he/she the correct values in order for he/she to be of any value to the society in future. When he/she is growing up, you have to constantly shower care and concern for them, and mind you, your effort might not even be appreciated, not to mention to be reciprocated. You may be sad, down and unhappy, but you cannot take a break, because your child can never disappear for a moment. Once your child is present in your life, he/she will stay in your life forever. You no longer have any personal time to yourself, unless you care more about yourself than your child. Don’t be surprised, there are parents like that. Don’t use moral values to judge them and deem that no parents will leave their child out in the wild and not care about them. YOU ARE UTTERLY WRONG. I have not experienced such parents, but I have seen such parents before. They left their children to struggle alone, using the excuse of letting them to be independent. I know of one such parent. She is a modern woman – working to fend for herself and not relying solely on her husband, loves electronic gadgets and is highly addicted to social networks such as Facebook. Unfortunately for the bad genes that was inherited by her son, he refused to do homework and dislike studying. Like almost all KIASU parents in Singapore, she sends her son for tuition and leaves all the responsibilities of educating her son to the tuition teachers she engages while she spend her spare time playing on her technological gadgets. Her son is not stupid and he has the capability to shine, but she is unwilling to spend the time to nurture the passion in studying in her son. One such unpolished gem is just lost like that. What a waste.
So, here is a piece of advice to everyone, if you want to play, please be willing to bear the consequences. Please do not involve innocent people into your selfish decision.