I had a bad Holy Week.
It has nothing to do with religion. (Religion is an issue too sensitive to be brought up by me. I don’t think I have the experience to discuss about it anyway. What kind of thought-provoking insight could a eighteen years old teenager share on religion?)
I have 2 younger brothers. Them being in the rebellious stage of life gives my parents both a big headache. We have poor genes in our blood (We are impatient, we are sly and we are hot-tempered. That is what my mother always say.) and it resulted in my brothers getting out of hands. Boys being boys, they tend to be addicted to technology. My brothers are addicted to their iPhones. It seems like their iPhones being their tools to ‘hook-up’ with girls. (I couldn’t think of a better word.) A moment without their phones might even cause their lives, even though it just meant that they would be venting their frustrations by slamming the door and talking back to our mother.
My mother got really angry (bad genes, remember?) and she started hurling insults (That is the way of the family. Or at least my family.) at me and my brothers (I hated ironing the clothes and I was ironing a huge pile of clothes while she was doing this.) , talking about how she regretted to giving birth to children and so on and so for.
I started to wonder whether about what actually influences people on the decision that they make.
There are many reasons as to why one makes a certain decision, but it all boils down to one main reason.
It merely what you stand to gain more. Whether you want happiness more or money more. In the past, children were merely extra helping hands in the family (I think this reason still stands in today’s society.) and the elderly have someone to send them off after they pass on. (The ancient chinese beliefs that STILL stands today. My grandmother is a perfect example as to why she dotes on her son WAY more than her 3 daughters.)
And I wonder what was the benefits that my mother had by giving birth to me. Sometimes, it appears to me that she might stand to gain a lot more by NOT giving birth to me in the first place. The very first one would be the financial status would be a lot better. I’ve read somewhere that the amount of money required to raise one child is equivalent to the price of a bungalow. Which is a lot to think of since my mother has 3 children. Which is equivalent to 3 bungalows.
The second one would be life would be a lot less stressful. You don’t have to be responsible for anyone other than yourself. And maybe your spouse. But your spouse is already old enough to be responsible for himself/herself. You won’t have to wake up a midnight to feed your child, pacifying little monsters when they are screaming their lungs out in public and feel guilty when you are punishing them for bad behaviour. (That was what my mother used to call the 3 of us. LITTLE MONSTERS.) And you don’t have to resort to hurling insults to educate your children, since you have none to educate. (I was used to called the devil. Which was quite hurting when my siblings are a lot worst off than I was. I think I didn’t even have a rebellious stage at all. I was just like this the whole time.)
And I really think that work is really a lot better than being at home.
At least I’m paid at work.
And I don’t get hurl insults. Or personal attacks.